When I got married almost 21 years ago, the thought of divorcing never entered my mind. Those of us who’ve gone through a divorce jokingly say “it’s not like you think the day of your wedding, when I get divorced…” In fact, my ex and I had both come from divorce and made a pact that we would do whatever it took to stay together. I guess you can tell where that story ended. Fifteen years after our wedding, my ex moved out.
I can honestly say I thought the separation would give us both some breathing room, allow all of us (especially our three girls) to have a peaceful home and would be the catalyst for us to realize we loved each other and wanted to work things out.
I have learned to adopt the expression “Man plans and G-d laughs” It’s not a phrase I love but if Covid-19 has proven anything, it’s that life is uncertain.
Divorce Home Solutions was born in my first divorce consultation with an attorney. In fact, most attorneys do give a free consultation though I personally think everyone should try the mediation route first (but I digress). Since we were mediating our divorce and things were fairly amicable, I hadn’t consulted with one until we came to a disagreement about the length of time I could remain in the home.
The attorney basically said if we couldn’t agree on what to do with the home, we’d have no choice but to go before a judge who would make the decision for us- most likely order us to put it our house on the market within 60 days. I looked at her like a deer caught in headlights. I had NO IDEA that’s how it works.
When I picked my jaw up off the floor, I scrambled to reach into my work bag and pulled out my floor planning kit. I explained what I did as a senior move manager and asked if she thought senior move services would translate to divorcing couples.
Senior move management services help seniors who are going through a lifetime of belongings make decisions about what to keep and take with them to senior communities and smaller homes, pack and unpack and handle the contents of what remains in the home. Wouldn’t these services be a huge benefit for people going through the divorce process – where their entire life would essentially be flipped over, turned inside out AND having to add the sale of a home and a move.
They say “necessity is the mother of invention,” so I ended up with a business and in role I never saw coming, a divorced mom helping other divorcing people. I have learned in life we can either become victims, survivors or thrivers. A thriver uses their experience to help others who will follow in their path. Helping divorcing couples at one of the most vulnerable and challenging times in their life has become a fulfilling outcome to an unplanned occurrence.
As soon as I Ieft my consultation, I contacted my friend, now business partner, Bryan Devore and pitched the Divorce Home Solutions concept to him. At that time, I was still living in the marital home and had not yet gone through the move.
The program we created grew out of our experiences going through our own divorces and helping San Diego divorcing clients. As we built the business, we learned all we could about the divorce industry, the specific professions unique to divorce and began getting to know San Diego divorce professionals who we could trust we and feel comfortable referring. Professions we never knew existed. CDFAs (Certified Divorce Financial Analysts), Mortgage Lenders who specialize in divorce and can help structure the MSA, Divorce Coaches, Mediators, Collaborative Divorce Professionals and Marriage and Family Therapists.
At the same time, they began referring us and learned how our services would help them settle their cases faster and easier and most importantly positively impact their clients and their ability to begin the healing process.
The night you move out of your marital house into your new homes, all your boxes are unpacked, your home is decorated and organized. Jami Shapiro and Bryan Devore created Divorce Home Solutions because we both went through our own divorces in 2017. We know your whole life is affected. We make it easier for divorcing couples in San Diego to move toward their brighter tomorrow.
Divorcing clients, are among the most vulnerable and stressed because their entire world is changing while they also have to navigate what is likely completely new territory all while doing their best to help their children. And most of us are doing it in our amygdala brain (fight, flight or freeze) making decisions more difficult and tensions higher. Even the most sane and smart among us, have a hard time keeping it together. I flashback to my own scene screaming in the middle of the street at my ex-husband when I found out he was dating.
As Divorce Home Solutions earned the Real Estate Divorce Specialists designation so we can sell the marital home mindful of the law, the challenges divorcing couples have when marketing the home and the emotional toll the whole process takes. We include move services for both parties and fix up the home, helping our clients get the most money possible, without asking either party to come out of pocket to pay for the work
We also help divide belongings, help find or rent new homes and will refer you to any specialist you may need.
The morning I was moving out of my marital home, I was lingering outside of yoga talking to my friends. They couldn’t believe how calm I was. Neither could I. I knew my team “had it.” While they oversaw the movers, unpacked, organized and decorated my home, I spent the day running errands and wrapping my head around the move. I came home and had “the big reveal” we give our clients. That night, rather than staring at a pile of boxes, I took in all the beautiful details of my decorated home. I am so grateful I never had to pack or unpack a single box.
Silver Linings Transitions is a member of NASMM (The National Association of Senior Move Managers). Downsizing for a senior is emotionally and physically overwhelming just like moving is for a divorcing couple emotionally overwhelming.
