I have a confession that might surprise you coming from someone who’s spent over a decade helping people let go of things: my own bookshelves were a disaster.
Not messy. Overrun. Two, sometimes three rows deep, tucked into closets, piling up on my nightstand. I told myself I’d get to them “someday.” When Covid happened and I was isolated for months like the rest of the world, these books sat unread. There was my “someday”.
This summer, as my daughter is leaving for college, I’m finally turning my home office (the living room you see when you first come into my home) into a living room that isn’t an embarrassment when someone walks into my home and moving my office up to my daughter’s room.
This means I had to do the thing we ask our clients to do every single week: look at what I own and decide, honestly, what stays and what goes.
Why books are different
Books aren’t like old kitchen gadgets or clothes that don’t fit anymore. A book has a spine that’s been cracked open by your own hands. It has a person attached to it, the friend who lent it to you, the mother who gave it to you “when you have time,” the version of you who bought it fully intending to become someone who reads more. Letting go of a book can feel like letting go of an intention, or a relationship, or a younger self who had bigger plans for free time than the life you actually got.
That’s exactly why book collections grow the way they do, one good intention at a time, until they take over.
The three piles on my own floor
When I sat down with my shelves, my books sorted themselves into three honest piles.
There were the favorites, the ones I kept telling myself I’d reread or lend out. There were the gifts, books people had handed me more than ten years ago that I never once opened. And there were the ones I bought myself, with real enthusiasm, and never touched.
None of those are bad reasons to own a book. But none of them are good enough reasons to keep one you’re not actually reading, either.
How to be honest with yourself
This is the part I tell every client, whether we’re talking about books, dishes, or a closet full of clothes: guilt is not a reason to keep something. “I might need it someday” is not a reason to keep something. Neither is “it was expensive.”
Ask yourself the real question instead. Will I actually read this again? Is there another book I’d rather be reading? If I really wanted to read it again, could I borrow it or find it at a used book sale?
If letting go feels harder than it should, our Organizing Coaching program helps clients work through both the practical and emotional side of decluttering.
What to do with the ones you let go
Letting go doesn’t mean the book disappears without a trace, and it definitely doesn’t mean the trash can is your only option.
Donate them to your local library, a Little Free Library, a senior center, or a shelter. See our list of San Diego charities you can donate in. Many independent bookstores will buy back gently used copies or trade them for store credit. If a specific book reminds you of a specific person, box it up and mail it to them instead of storing it for a “someday” visit that may never come. And for the ones that are falling apart, recycling is a perfectly good option. A book doesn’t need to sit unread on a shelf to have mattered.
Reading has changed, and that’s a gift
Here’s what makes this easier than it’s ever been: you don’t need to own a book to read it anymore. Apps like Libby let you borrow ebooks and audiobooks from your library for free, no waiting room full of dust required. Digital books are available to buy or borrow the moment you want them, and they take up exactly zero shelf space. If part of what’s kept you holding onto unread books is the fear of not having something to read next, that fear has an easy fix now.
It was never about the books
Just like it’s never really about the boxes when we are helping a family move, it was never really about the books on my shelves. It was about the version of myself who thought I needed to hold onto every good intention I ever had. Letting go of the books I wasn’t reading didn’t erase those intentions. It just made room for the life I’m actually living, and for my family to have a beautiful room that welcomes people inside.
Perfect is the enemy of done. You don’t have to read every book you own before you’re allowed to let it go. You just have to be honest about which ones you will.
This National Book Lovers Day, celebrate the books that shaped you. And if a few of them are ready to shape someone else’s life next, let them go.
Unfinished or unread books can often feel like a disappointment kind of like those old skinny clothes that no longer fit. Consider whether seeing those shelves of unread books makes you feel good or bad about yourself.